Come Home Safe
by T'Key'la
Summary: AU to épisode 2.22. Steve didn't find Wo Fat but he did find some truths that he needed to discover. But will Danny listen to his explanations? And can Danny trust Steve not to go off on his own again? I started it before the season finale. S/D
1. Chapter 1

_My bestest, lyricoloratura, sent me the following note after re-reading my 20-in-20 drabbles. I could never say no to her so this story happened. Not a story I intended to write but now, well, I have and am sharing it with you. Hope you enjoy!_

Yes, but seriously, wouldn't it make a lovely one-shot? Especially if it was a "Steve actually ditched because he suddenly realized that he'd fallen passionately in love with his best friend and couldn't reconcile it with his hard-ass SEAL self," and "Danno won't admit it, but is pretty sure that Steve has figured out that Danno is in love with him and is so uncomfortable with it that he's disappeared rather than having the humiliating confrontation." Does he contemplate leaving 5-0 - or even Hawaii - for the sake of Steve's happiness? Is he gone when Steve gets back? Big angst!

Don't you love it when I start prompting for a fandom that I'm only marginally familiar with?

* * *

"We are _ohana_, Steven," Danny said in exasperation. It was the 10th or 11th or 23rd message he had left for Steve since his mysterious disappearance. "That means we have each other's back. I could have contracted smallpox while you're off God knows where doing God knows what. You could have come back to an urn of ashes and _you'd_ have to explain to Grace why you weren't here when I needed you. All your talk of _ohana_is just that – talk." Danny took a pause and a deep breath. "Please just come home safe. Grace misses you. Kono and Chin miss you. And…I miss you most of all."

Steve listened to the latest voice mail twice more before deleting it, just like he had all the others. Part of him wanted to keep them, to prove that Danny cared enough to keep trying. But the other part, the part that had made him leave Hawaii, knew the danger in holding onto them.

Holding on. That's all he was doing. Putting one foot in front of the other. Trying to keep his focus on his goal. He hadn't lied to Danny in the "Dear Danno" letter he'd left. He was determined to find Joe and Shelburne and, finally, the truth. But he had never intended to begin the hunt like this. Abruptly leaving without informing his team, his _ohana._But staying had ceased to be an option. Waking up with Catherine in his bed and realizing he not only wanted her gone but more urgently wanted her to be Danny had been the last straw. His sanity was deteriorating and he had to remove himself to sort out what was going on in his own head.

He'd never had sexual feelings for any man. He was the poster child for Heterosexual Man. He was self-assured enough to know he was pleasing to look at but had never responded to the come-hither glances he'd occasionally gotten from men. He wasn't disgusted by their advances. He simply wasn't interested. He didn't care what anyone did in the privacy of their own home if both parties were willing and legal. Doing anything behind closed doors with another man had never been of any interest to him.

Whenever he left a bar with a new 'friend' she almost always looked like Catherine - dark hair, dark eyes, killer body, smart enough not to ask too many questions and to know that a one-night stand was all he was looking for. He was never at a loss for company. Even after settling back in his childhood home, he'd kept himself amused between Catherine's visits. The team teased him about his booty-calls but he didn't mind. He and Catherine were good together, gave each other exactly what they wanted with no expectations for more.

Then she had come town, they had had dinner and _dessert_, like always. But when he woke up from dreams of Danny doing those things to him, of wanting it to be Danny next to him instead, he had questioned everything that his life had contained up to that point.

He couldn't face Catherine and he certainly couldn't face Danny. By extension, he couldn't tell Kono or Chin the truth. They would see through him, know that his world had unexpectedly been turned upside down. So for the first time in his life, he'd taken the coward's way out. He'd left a note. He promised he'd be back when he had some answers. Maybe he didn't quite know what the questions were yet but he'd find those as well.

The futile search through the less populated areas of Japan afforded him plenty of time to consider what he had done and what Danny had said in this voice mail. Smallpox? How would Danny have been exposed to smallpox? That made no sense. And he certainly couldn't ask Danny how that had happened. In one of his voice mails Danny said he was in Los Angeles with Sam Hanna. What was he doing in California?

So many questions he couldn't answer. And so many questions he couldn't ask, not even of himself.

~o0o~

"So I'm thinking of taking leave for a little while," Danny said to Kono and Chin over lunch when they had been back from LA for several days. "I know we're a man down already but…"

Kono and Chin traded a look, one that said everything that needed to be said between them. "We understand," Chin assured him for them both. "I'll talk to the Governor. You take all the time you need."

"I'll call him before I go," Danny said, weariness in his voice.

"Let Chin do it," Kono advised. "Then when he demands you stay, Chin can honestly say it's too late. And don't answer you phone."

"Right," Danny said with a nod.

"Do you know where you're going to go?" Chin asked.

"Jersey. My sister just had her baby. It's a great excuse to go back east right now."

Chin nodded at that. "Not Japan, right?"

"No," Danny sighed. "As tempting as it is to see if that map was right, I'm not chasing him. He doesn't want me as back-up so…."

"I'm sorry," Kono said, her warm hand over Danny's. "It was a shitty thing he did to you. To us all."

"I'm doing it too," Danny pointed out softly.

"Not the same thing, _brah,_" Chin assured him. "We'll be able to reach you. We'll call you if we need you. And you'll do the same."

"I will," Danny agreed.

"Do you have a flight yet?" Kono asked, fighting the tears that wanted to fall.

"No. I'll find one tonight. I'm going to try and leave Friday if I can. I have a little more paperwork to finish up. Then I'll be ready to go. Gracie's still on the mainland so I don't have to explain to her."

"Okay," Chin said. He looked like he wanted to say something else but instead gathered the remnants of his lunch and threw it out before leaving the break room, Kono leaving shortly afterward.

Danny didn't know if he was grateful for the solitude or disappointed by it. Not disappointed in them. Disappointed in himself that he couldn't, or wouldn't, tell them the entire truth. They deserved to know but he couldn't tell them before he had it out with Steve. And apparently Steve had no intentions of discussing the situation they found themselves in. So Danny was going to remove himself from everything that reminded him of Steve, to see if distance brought clarity.

It had been so much easier when he and Steve were _just _friends. Best friends who were in synch, understood each other, could finish each other's sentences. But their relationship had been evolving, changing right in front of his eyes and until Steve left, he hadn't fully realized the depth of their connection. He usually noticed everything. You didn't last long as a detective if you failed to pick up on the subtlest of clues. But that didn't extend to his best friend. Or himself. Now that he was in the process of loosing his best friend, the most important relationship in his life, he saw the signs as though they were outlined in neon.

He and Steve had been orbiting each other, a planet and its sun. No, that analogy didn't work. Because the planet could not survive without its sun but the sun would continue to burn as brightly if the planet imploded. Everyone assumed Danny was the planet to Steve's sun. But that wasn't the way it was. Steve was as dependent on Danny as Danny was on Steve, maybe even more so. Steve was adjusting to civilian life, to being in charge of civilians, civilians who were law enforcement agents, a career about which he knew only the basics. Steve had been thrown in the police pool and told to swim to a shore he couldn't find. Danny had been there for every missed stroke, for every near drowning, for his triumphant emergence from the deep end to discover he could swim with the big dogs.

Well, that was kind of a stupid way to think about it too, Danny chided himself. He sighed, sipping his now tepid water. Steve needed Danny. That pissed Steve off. And Danny was confident Steve had fallen in love with Danny and didn't know what to do with that realization. What he failed to factor into his thinking was that Danny had also fallen in love. And as neither of them had ever experienced that particular emotion with anyone of their same gender, they were at a loss as to where to go next. So Steve ran. Man of action that he was, he used the eternal mystery of Shelburne as his escape hatch. Damn him. Danny was tempted to go back on what he had told Kono and Chin and fly to Japan. If only to have the satisfaction of punching Steve's lights out and leaving him to pick up those scattered pieces.

Instead he wearily went into his office, buying plane tickets for Newark. He paid the extra to keep the return date open. If he needed to hide out for two weeks instead of one, he would. He doubted he'd be in Jersey that long but he wanted that option.


	2. You Left A Note

"Lieutenant Kelly," Chin said as he answered his office phone.

"Chin, it's me," Steve's voice said sounding distant and tired.

"Steve," Chin said. There was an icy edge to his voice which Steve had no chance of missing. "How are you?"

"I'm okay," Steve said. "I've tried reaching Danny. He doesn't pick up."

"He's on leave," Chin informed Steve, unwilling to volunteer any information. Steve didn't deserve it.

"On leave," Steve repeated. "Where?"

"I'm not at liberty to say," Chin said in a tone he generally reserved for nosy reporters. One that had never been directed at Steve previously.

"Not at liberty to say," Steve said, his voice rising. "He still works for 5-0 doesn't he?"

"Not at the moment," Chin said. "The governor extended him leave until he's ready to return."

"That doesn't make sense," Steve said.

"And you leaving with just a note does?" Chin asked, the censure clear in his voice.

"This is different," Steve tried.

"No it isn't. You left. We didn't know where you were. We didn't even know if you were still alive. Do you have any idea what that did to Danny?" Chin demanded, a rare of display of anger in the question.

"What it did to Danny?" Steve repeated. "I left a note. I explained."

"You left a note. It was not an explanation."

Steve sighed, rubbing his forehead. He was too tired for this shit. "Where is he, Chin?"

"Have you tried his cell phone?"

"Of course. It goes to voice mail."

"Like all his calls to you did," Chin pointed out.

"I know. I just…." Steve stopped. What else was there to say?

"Look. I got no dog in this fight. You two have a lot to work out. You shouldn't have left the way you did. He did what he had to do."

"Yeah," Steve said. "I was going to fly back to Oahu but maybe I'll take a flight to Jersey instead."

"That's up to you," Chin said.

"If you talk to him, please don't tell him I'm coming to Jersey. I don't want him to leave before I get there."

"You can't be sure that's where he is," Chin reminded him.

"If he's not in Hawaii with Grace, he's in Jersey with his family. His sister's baby was due last week. It's the only place he would go."

Chin made a non-committal sound at that. "Did you find Joe?"

"No. This has been a wild-goose chase," Steve admitted.

"And you're surprised by that?"

"I thought I'd find him and the truth," Steve said but he sounded weasely to his own ears.

"What did you find?" Chin asked in a warmer tone.

"Other truths. Ones I need to give to Danny."

"Good," Chin said in approval. "Do you have the Williams' address? If you were to, you know, send them a postcard."

"Yes I have it. Since I'm Danny's emergency contact, he made sure I had all their information."

"All right. Call us when you have something to report," Chin said.

"I will. Is the Governor pissed?"

"A little. But he recognizes that you've been through a hell of a lot in a short amount of time. He said he's surprised you hadn't gone AWOL earlier."

"That's reassuring at least," Steve said. "I'll be in touch."

"You better. You're already in for an ass-kicking. Don't make it double."

"Roger that," Steve agreed, ringing off. He contacted the airline and changed his flight to Newark. It would take 19 hours to get there, almost the amount of time it'd take to Honolulu. Maybe he could sleep on the plane. It would be the first solid sleep of more than 3 hours he would have gotten since leaving.

~o0o~

"Hey Chin," Danny said when he had answered his phone. He was sitting in a coffee shop around the corner from his parents' house. It was late in the afternoon on Sunday and he needed a little peace and quiet. As much as he loved his family, it was too much after being away from them for so long. He had no idea how loud they all were until he'd been out of their beehive. He wondered briefly if Steve felt that way about him but shoved that thought aside.

"Danny," Chin said. "Steve called me a few minutes ago."

"I see," Danny said, goose-bumps breaking out on his skin. This was not the news he was expecting. And he didn't quite know what he thought about it. At least Steve was alive. That was something.

"He's flying to Jersey." Chin paused, listening carefully. All he heard was a soft sigh from Danny's end. "I didn't tell him."

"I know you didn't. He figured it out," Danny said. "How is he?"

"Exhausted. Frustrated. Asked me not to tell you he's coming."

"He's afraid I'll leave?" Danny asked without needing to. He knew the answer.

"He didn't say so in those words. But he's afraid you'll disappear if you know he's on his way."

"How long is the flight?" Danny asked.

"Around 20 hours. I think I have the info if you want it."

"He on the passenger list?" Danny asked.

"Not yet. It hasn't been updated. But he's in Osaka and there's only one flight from there to Newark today. It leaves in 45 minutes."

"All right," Danny said. "Text it to me?"

"Sure," Chin confirmed. "Are you going to the airport?"

"Probably. I'd rather fight there than at my parents' house. I'll find a hotel room. He won't be able to be around my family, not the state he's in."

"Makes sense," Chin said. "I think he's mostly okay."

"He still left," Danny said, the weight of the world in those words.

"I know. What will you say when you get him alone?"

"Before or after I rip him a new one?" Danny asked.

"Right," Chin said.

"Why are you at the office?" Danny asked.

"Malia's at the hospital so I thought I'd come work on some overdue reports," Chin said.

"Anything I can do from here?" Danny asked, hoping to feel less guilty about leaving Chin and Kono by themselves.

"No, _brah._It's all routine. Things have been surprisingly quiet. I think all the criminal elements are waiting for you and Steve to come back."

"If I come back," Danny said in a low voice.

"I understand you feel that way now. But Grace still lives here. And we need you."

"You and Kono maybe. Steve not so much," Danny said, rubbing his knuckles over his stubble.

"Then why is he flying to Newark instead?"

"Yeah," Danny said. "What's Kono up to?"

"Surfing. Ben's in town so they are catching up. We're having dinner tomorrow night."

"Tell the rookie I said hello. And tell Ben if he breaks her heart, what's left of him will have to answer to me when you get done with him."

"Roger that," Chin said. "I'll let you go. Call me tomorrow."

"I will," Danny agreed, disconnecting. He checked his phone, not surprised to find two missed calls from Steve's number. No voice mail to ignore though. That made it easier. He also had the text from Chin letting him know that Steve's plane would land at Newark at noon the next day. Danny called the nicest hotel out by the airport and reserved a room for one night with the possibility of needing it for additional nights. The reservation clerk was very accommodating and didn't display any impatience when Danny couldn't decide whether to reserve one king sized bed or two queen. He finally decided on the two queens. That would be easier in so many ways. That done, he called his mom and told her he'd be home a little later than he had thought and they should go ahead and start without him if he wasn't back in time for dinner. He could tell from her response that she knew something wasn't quite right but she didn't press him for details. Something had been not quite right since he had arrived but this was even more not right.

Danny drove his rental to one of the malls and bought two pair of jeans and three plain blue tee shirts. The clerk looked at the sizes and looked at Danny before looking again at the jeans. Danny refused to explain, simply handing over his credit card with an expression that warned questions would not be welcome. That done, he went over to the section to pick up some briefs. Steve probably hadn't been wearing them but this way he would have the choice. And Danny wasn't ready to take Steve's dirty clothes to his mom's house just yet. Maybe never.

As he was making his way out of the mall, the drugstore close by the exit caught his eye. There were definitely items he needed for Steve's welcome home. In the first-aid section, he picked up some gauze and some butterfly bandages. No doubt Steve would need both. He added antibiotic ointment to his basket as well as the biggest bottle of ibuprofen they sold.

As casually as he could manage, he entered the 'personal care' aisle, astonished by the variety and quantity of condoms. He had no idea if they would be needed in his immediate future but he knew the Boy Scout motto as well as anyone else.

It had been a really long time since he'd been responsible for the purchase of condoms and didn't know how much difference there was between 'extended pleasure' and 'ribbed for her pleasure.' That seemed a moot point. And what about the size? _Good God_. Jumbo? Extra large? Magnum extra large? That sounded like a comic book character. And were they all equally appropriate for use by two guys? Or were they all designed for the softer interior of women? Not precisely something you could ask the just-barely-teenaged clerk who Danny doubted had ever had sex much less knew the subtleties of buying condoms. And once he made a decision, did he need lubricant as well? Surely they would. But which one?

Sighing in defeat, he knew he had no choice but to man-up and ask for help. Glancing around the store, he was glad to see that there was no one in line to talk to the pharmacist. He was a professional and wouldn't laugh at Danny's questions. Right?

"Can I help you?" the older gentleman asked kindly when Danny had requested the pharmacist. His name was Archie Litton. Danny didn't know any Littons from New Jersey so that increased his comfort level.

"Yeah. This is kind of embarrassing," Danny said, running a hand through his hair.

"I deal in embarrassing every day, son. Spill it," Archie said with an encouraging smile.

"I need to buy condoms," Danny said quietly. "I don't know which ones."

"You aren't planning to use them with your wife or girlfriend," Archie said kindly.

"I'm not married. Not any more. And, no, not my _girl_friend."

"Good for you for practicing safe sex," Archie said, leaving the pharmacy counter to walk with Danny back to the condom aisle. "These are the ones you need," he said, selecting a discreet box that made no promises about anyone's pleasure. "And this lubricant will not harm the condom."

"Does size matter?" Danny asked. He hadn't intended to make it sound like the age-old joke and was grateful when the pharmacist didn't mock him.

"Unless you or he are extraordinarily endowed, these will be fine," Archie assured him.

"I don't know about him," Danny said, considering it. "He's six feet tall."

"That doesn't determine the size of his penis," Archie said. "You can get these extra large ones if you are concerned. But 95% of all men can comfortably use these."

Danny nodded at that, deciding Archie was undoubtedly correct. "Thank you."

"You're welcome. And may I suggest you purchase a tube of Preparation H. If this is your first time with another man, you may need it."

"Oh," Danny said, the color rising on his cheeks. "I guess you're right. Maybe I should buy two tubes."

"Always the best way to go," Archie confirmed. With a fatherly pat on Danny's shoulder, he returned to the pharmacy counter.

As Danny was paying for the all of the items, he was not unaware of the irony of the situation. He wasn't sure he wanted to talk to Steve yet he was buying supplies to have sex with him. This after he'd already bought him fresh clothes. He didn't think he wanted to see Steve but he had reserved him a hotel room and nearly reserved a room with one bed big enough to easily accommodate them both. He still wasn't sure the two queen beds was the right decision but he knew Steve was totally heterosexual. Just like Danny. Except Danny had discovered he was Steve-sexual and suspected Steve was Danny-sexual. God what a mess.

Danny had always held the view that sexual preferences were more fluid than static. He'd never wanted to fuck a man until he met Steve. He never wanted to be fucked by a man until Steve. Now he could barely think of anything else. For the past year, every dream that had aroused him had been about Steve. He hadn't allowed himself to consciously use Steve to get off but it was a near thing. And more than once he'd found himself having to adjust his trousers after spending the entire day exclusively in Steve's company. So why hadn't they ever confronted the unspoken attraction that simmered between them?

Danny suspected it was because Steve wanted to deny that he was attracted to anyone other than women, especially women that looked like Catherine. And Danny understood that. Steve had practically grown up in the military. Not an organization known for its free thinking or embrace of 'alternate' lifestyles.

Danny could have broached the subject but he knew better than anyone the consequences of being in love with Steve. That way led to heartbreak. If Steve didn't get himself killed, he was going to get Danny killed. Or Steve would be offered the chance to find the truth about his parents' murderer and he'd go off half-cocked just like he had this time. Could Danny give all of his heart to someone who would not care for it any better than he cared for himself? Danny suspected Steve took the tough jobs because he didn't expect to survive them. Suicide by criminal was a good option now that suicide by terrorist wasn't as likely a possibility.

Danny had a much better developed survival instinct. But he'd always known he was loved. His parents couldn't afford to spoil their children with material possessions but the love they gave was plentiful and constant. When Danny's marriage dissolved, he was devastated for all the regular reasons. Even worse, he'd failed to live up to the example his parents had set. He'd failed Rachel, Grace, and his parents. But they never made him feel like a failure. They understood that sometimes love wasn't enough and Rachel wasn't fully prepared to be an American cop's wife.

Could Danny's love help shelter Steve, allow him to stop trying to get himself killed? Was Danny willing to take that risk? These were the questions he couldn't answer. And he doubted Steve could either. Danny knew that there was a 50/50 possibility that in 24 hours, he'd be minus both a job and a best friend. He'd have to reinvent himself again, just like he had after the divorce.


	3. Newark Liberty Intnl Airport Marriott

Steve was relieved when he boarded the plane to find it only a third full. Spending 20 hours in a confined space was going to be hard enough. Having the three center seats to himself would make it a little easier.

He spotted the Federal air marshal as he made his way down the aisle. As casual as the marshal was acting, Steve recognized a fellow law-enforcement agent as though he had his badge and gun on public display. That the air marshal was sitting one row behind Steve in his requisite aisle seat gave Steve a sense of security he hadn't had since he left Hawaii.

As soon as the fasten seatbelt light was off, Steve lifted the interior armrests and curled up on the three seats. A tiny part of his brain insisted on telling him that they were probably just the right size for Danny to stretch out. He nearly smiled at the idea of it but he didn't think he deserved to smile at any thoughts containing Danny.

He slept fitfully, sometimes fighting the blanket that had been draped over him, but at least he slept. Probably better than he had the entire time he'd been in Japan. His dreams were filled with chasing Wo Fat and having him disappear right before Steve could grab him. Or Wo Fat holding Danny hostage, threatening to kill him if Steve didn't put down his guns.

"Hey," a strange voice was saying. It was stern but warm, the hand on his shoulder keeping him anchored.

"Uhh," Steve grunted, opening his gritty eyes.

"You were having a nightmare," the man he had identified as the air marshal was saying. He was squatting in the aisle, a look of genuine concern on his face.

"I'm okay," Steve said, rubbing over his eyes, trying to get them to fully open. He slowly sat up and accepted the bottle of water from the attendant who left them alone with a tiny frown. The marshal took the seat next to Steve, still watching the other passengers casually.

"You were determined to bring him in, whoever he is," the marshal said.

"Yeah," Steve said, finally able to fully focus on the man studying him. "I'm all right."

"If you're sure, Commander," the marshal said quietly.

"You know me?" Steve asked, certain they'd never met before.

"I was informed you were flying with us," the marshal told him. "Standard procedure."

Steve nodded, sipping more water. "Do you know how much longer?"

"We've been airborne for five hours," the marshal said. "The attendants asked me to wake you. You were starting to worry some of the other passengers. They didn't think getting too close to you was a good idea."

Steve nodded ruefully. "Appreciate it."

"I understand," the marshal said. "I'm former Army. My wife finally learned to wake me without getting a black eye."

"Yeah," Steve agreed. "At home it's not quite so bad. Anywhere else - well," Steve shrugged.

"Same here," the marshal agreed. "I'm going to get back to my seat if you're okay."

"I'm fine," Steve assured him with a nod of thanks. He watched the marshal return to his seat where he picked up a magazine Steve was sure he wasn't going to read. Steve took out his iPad, deciding that he could at least review the photos of the Champ box evidence. As he was going to that folder, he saw a new one entitled "Grace." Inside he found _The Little Mermaid_, _Toy Story, _and _Snow White. _All of Grace's favorites. He had let her use his iPad the last time she had come over with her Danno and she apparently decided he needed her favorite movies with him at all times. Smiling at the thoughts of Grace and her father, he plugged in his earphones and watched the movies. They transported him to a different place and time, of happiness and innocence.

After the nearly interminable flight, they finally announced the approach to Newark. Steve could feel the relief from the passengers all around him, a relief he mirrored. Being on a plane for 20 hours was practically inhumane.

As soon as the plane doors opened, Steve felt his phone buzz in his pocket. _Newark Liberty International Airport Marriott room 518 theres a free shuttle_So much for Chin not telling Danny he was coming. On the plus side, Danny had taken care of a place for him to stay and a way for him to get there.

"Do you need a lift?" the air marshal asked as they made their way down the walkway toward the terminal.

"I'll take the shuttle," Steve said, glancing over at the man walking next to him. He was only a little shorter than Steve with dark hair, dark eyes and coffee colored skin, his posture that of ex-military just as he had said. "I appreciate it though."

"Brothers in arms," the marshal said with a nod before disappearing into the crowd of people welcoming the weary travelers.

It didn't take long for Steve to find the shuttle to the hotel, his name on the list of potential passengers. He settled in the hard plastic seat, wondering what the next 24 hours would bring. Would he have the chance to talk to Danny, to try and explain? Or had he ruined what was probably the best thing in his life? Could he pretend that the only thing he felt for Danny was friendship? Friendship akin to brotherhood? He was trained not to feel and that training had always served him well. That was before the Danno-whirlwind had entered his life. He had turned around everything Steve thought he knew and believed. He couldn't regret it. Nor did he know what to do with this new knowledge because he certainly couldn't tell Danny. He would lose him for sure if he did. And despite his abrupt decision to go to Japan, he could no longer imagine his life with no Danny in it.

Steve left the shuttle to make his slow way to the hotel front desk. The young woman behind the desk looked at him as though she wanted to volunteer to help him rediscover his heterosexuality. It was flattering, especially considering the amount of travel dirt still clinging to him. He accepted the key card when she assured him that the charges had been taken care of and if there was _anything_he needed, he shouldn't hesitate to give her a call. Even if she was off duty.

He gave her a tight smile and took the elevator up to the fifth floor. The door swung open before he got the card in, Danny right on the other side. Steve could only stand and stare. He'd been afraid he wouldn't find Danny to talk to him and yet here he was. Waiting. In the hotel room.

"Don't loiter. I'll have to arrest you," Danny said, waving him in.

"You don't have jurisdiction," Steve said, surprised to find his voice as he stepped into the fairly spacious room.

"I can get it," Danny said, taking the tote Steve was still clutching as though his life depended on it. "Shower. There are briefs and plenty of towels in the bathroom. What do you want to eat? Don't tell me nothing because I _will_hogtie you and force the food down your throat. Take off your clothes so I can inspect for damage."

Steve blinked at the rush of words, trying to figure out what was first on the agenda. That decision was taken from him when Danny reached out and pulled up his polo. "I'm fine."

"Says the man who can be shot and fail to mention it. Off. Off," Danny ordered, gesturing at Steve's shirt.

Knowing from experience that doing it was easier, Steve pulled his black shirt up over his head, letting it drop on the floor.

"Pants," Danny said, pointing at the filthy cargos.

"I'm not wearing briefs."

"You got nothing I ain't seen before, buddy. Off. Now," Danny ordered, fists on his hips.

Steve unbuckled his belt, undoing his pants and shoving them down. He toed off his sneakers glad he didn't have on his boots. That wouldn't be too awkward or anything. He looked back up at Danny who was studying him with a clinical expression, making a spinning motion with his hand. Steve did a 180, waiting as patiently as he could.

"Doesn't look there's anything that will kill you right away. We'll deal with the scrapes and cuts when you're out," Danny said, pointing to the bathroom. "What do you want to eat?"

"I don't care," Steve said as he made his way over to the huge bathroom. "You decide."

"And you'll eat it?"

"Yes," Steve said over the sound of the running water.

"No Navy shower either," Danny ordered, standing in the doorway.

"Where'd these briefs come from?" Steve asked as he stepped under the hot water.

"Macy's. I got you jeans and tees too. But you're going to sleep after you eat," Danny informed him.

"We need to talk," Steve said, holding completely still in order to see if he could hear Danny's reaction.

"Damn straight we do. But it can wait until you look less like the walking dead."

"I'm fine," Steve said as he scrubbed his hair.

"You're a liar," Danny retorted, leaving the bathroom to call room service. He ordered the largest steak they had available along with mashed potatoes. He also added a six-pack of beer, knowing it would help to have some inside of Steve before the dreaded _talk._

He was perched on the bed by the window when Steve finally emerged wearing only the white briefs. He had used the razor Danny had left him and looked better than Danny expected, like he had remembered to eat while he was gone. Danny doubted he'd had much sleep but that would be taken care of.

"Come here please so I can bandage your scraps," Danny requested, surveying the cuts and abrasions mostly on Steve's arms and legs.

"I'm fine," Steve said, crossing his arms and stubbornly staying where he was.

"I swear to God. If you don't stop saying that, I will…" Danny's hands added the words he couldn't, staring up at Steve. "It will take five minutes. Why are you so godamm stubborn?"

"Why are you?"

"Shut up. Please. I'm begging you," Danny said, getting up and grabbing Steve by the forearm. Steve allowed himself to be dragged over by the bed where Danny had been sitting, waiting silently as Danny fussed over him. The worst of the abrasions were just below his elbows, the skin scrapped equally raw on both arms. "What did you do?" Danny asked as he inspected the skin for any lingering debris. Finding it raw but clean, Danny soothed in the ointment and placed the bandages over it.

"Not important," Steve said to the top of Danny's head. Being this close to Danny, having him fuss over him, gently place the gauze over his scraps, was dangerous to Steve's mental and emotional balance.

"There," Danny said, straightening and looking up at Steve. "Pretty sure you'll live."

"Where are the clothes you bought?" Steve asked, glancing around the hotel room.

"You aren't putting them on. You are getting into bed. After you eat, you are sleeping," Danny announced.

"You always been this bossy?" Steve asked, meeting Danny's eyes. Mostly what he found in them was humor rather than the anger or, worse, disappointment he had expected.

"Pretty much. Yeah. Get in bed," Danny ordered, pointing to it.

"I can't eat in bed."

"Why not? We're in a hotel. If you spill, we'll have it cleaned up. Or you sleep over here instead."

Steve finally conceded to the inevitable and climbed into the admittedly luxurious bed. Heaven right here in New Jersey. "Chin told you I was coming."

"Yeah. He told me you also said for him not to tell me. I figured you might come once you surfaced."

"Why are you here?" Steve asked, adjusting the pillows where he was leaning back against the headboard.

"Why did you leave?" Danny countered.

"So we're doing this now?" Steve asked, keeping eye contact.

Danny sighed, looking back out the window. But he didn't say anything.

"How were you exposed to smallpox?" Steve finally asked into the uncomfortably loud silence.

"Mad scientist decided there were too many people clogging up the Earth. She was going to cull the herd."

"Oh," Steve said. He figured what Danny had said made sense but not so much to him. "So you went to LA?"

"Chin and I did. We took the Governor's plane. With G. Callen and Sam Hanna."

"Why?"

"To follow the smallpox," Danny said. "Your friend Hanna is something else."

"Yes he is. I'm sure he'll say the same about you," Steve said with a smile.

"Probably. Decided the Camaro should be named Winifred."

"Well. That's…something," Steve said. "You secured the smallpox?"

"Would I be here if we hadn't?" Danny responded, instantly regretting that he sounded so harsh. He hadn't meant to bite Steve's head off. That was for later.

"No," Steve said back just a harshly.

"All right. I'm sorry," Danny said. "It should have been _you_going with me to LA."

"I know," Steve said in a milder tone to match Danny's.

"It's not that I don't trust Chin with my life. I do. But he's not my _partner_."

"I know," Steve repeated.

"It's fine for you to say _I know._But you don't act like it," Danny said. Apparently they were doing this now. No time like the present.

"I couldn't take you," Steve started. Anything else he would have said was cut off.

"You didn't even ask," Danny said, standing up to pace. "Maybe I would have had sense enough to stay behind. But you should have _asked_."

"No I shouldn't. I had to go it alone," Steve told him.

"You aren't alone, Steve. You aren't a SEAL. Well, you are. But…" Danny stopped, taking a deep breath. "You have a partner and an entire team. We have your back when you allow us to."

"This is my fight, not yours."

"No. No, that is where you are wrong. It's _our_fight because it's your fight. You could have gotten yourself killed and you didn't even find what you were looking for," Danny pointed out, his hands waving as though he was trying to take flight with wings that could not support his weight. "We might have lost you. You could have died and we would never know how or where or even why. We wouldn't have a body to bury. And while you're off on your personal vendetta, I could have died of smallpox. Smallpox, Steven. You could have come home to an urn and a broken-hearted little girl." Danny stopped. He'd run out of steam and out of words. He chanced at glance at Steve who was still watching him, a look of resignation on his face.

"I wasn't killed. You didn't die of smallpox," Steve finally said.

"Not this time," Danny said.

"You think there'll be a next time?" Steve asked.

"There is always a next time with you. South Korea. Japan. Next it will be Antarctica. Or the Amazon. The river not the on-line mega store."

"I knew what you meant. And it wasn't the same with South Korea. Jenna…."

"Jenna's dead. And you were minutes from joining her. I don't fault you for what you did. But if she hadn't gotten that call through, we'd have never seen you again," Danny reminded him, perching on the edge of the bed, his elbows on his knees to support his head. "You nearly died."

"That's why I had to go to Japan. End it with Wo Fat once and for all."

"But you didn't. He's still out there. And next time you have 'intel' with his locale, you'll go off again."

Steve absorbed those words, understanding what Danny was really asking. "I cannot promise you I won't."

"I can promise you this," Danny said, lifting his head to stare at Steve. "If you do this again, we are done. I will resign from 5-0."

"You won't resign from 5-0," Steve said with too much certainty. "You have nowhere else to work."

Danny frowned at him, balling his hands into fists. "You are more arrogant than I thought and that's saying something."

"HPD won't take you back," Steve said, feeling like it was cheating. But he was pretty sure Danny knew it already. Between their antagonism over him being a _haole_and jealousy because he was chosen for the elite task force, HPD had as much as black-balled Danny permanently. It was one of the open secrets on the islands. Steve would have fought for him but it only served his interests to have HPD consider him un-hirable now.

"Just for your information, Mr. Self-righteous, Stan wants me to head up his corporate security. All I have to do is make one phone call and he'll double my salary. I'll have a staff of 60 who report directly to me. Don't think 5-0 is the only option I have," Danny said.

"Is that a threat?" Steve asked, squinting slightly at Danny.

"It's a warning," Danny corrected. "You think you can do or say anything you want and it doesn't matter because I am stuck at 5-0. Well, I'm not. He offered me the job three months ago. When I told him no, he said the offer remains open."

"You never told me," Steve said, sounding hurt even to his own ears.

"I had absolutely no intentions of accepting. Not until you went Houdini on my ass," Danny said.

"You'd really take the job? Leave 5-0?"

"If you ever pull another stunt like this, I will. I won't look back. And you'll never see Grace again."

"Is Grace okay?" Steve asked, the mention of her name making his heart flutter.

"She's fine. Wants to know when you're coming home. Thanks for putting me in the position of telling her I have no idea."

"I'm sorry."

"I don't care," Danny said. "I only care that you are safe. And I want you to stay that way."

"I can't promise that," Steve repeated.

"Why is your personal vendetta more important than us?" Danny demanded. "Why can't you have both?"

"Both?"

"Pursue Wo Fat. Follow ghosts. I don't care. Just include us. Let us decide how much we're willing to risk."

"I'm not willing to risk you," Steve said almost too quietly for Danny to hear.

"Leaving me behind means you lose me anyway," Danny reminded him.

"But you won't be dead."

"I will be to you," Danny warned.

"Please don't say that again."

"You need to hear me. You need to know I cannot, I will not go through this again. No matter how much I…." Danny stopped, biting down on his words to prevent them from escaping without his permission. It was what he wanted to say to Steve but knew there was no turning back from the words. He couldn't say them. The risks were too great.

"Say it," Steve said evenly. Maybe it was true, that Danny felt for him what he wanted to deny he felt for Danny.

"You don't deserve it," Danny said. "Not after what you did."

"I'm not apologizing again. And I can't promise I'll never chase Wo Fat when I think I have the chance to find him."

"Then I have nothing more to say to you," Danny said, standing and crossing to the door. "I'll see you in Hawaii."

"Are you quitting 5-0?" Steve asked, his voice closer than it had been. Danny refused to turn around because he knew he'd be facing Steve's gorgeous body. If he kept facing the door, his resolve wouldn't be undermined by those taut muscles, wide expanse of tanned skin, and delicious tattoos. "Are you?" Steve asked, a warm, heavy hand landing on Danny's shoulder.

"No," Danny whispered. He wanted to shake off that hand, show Steve he was stronger than that, that he could walk away. Who was he kidding? Not himself. He slowly turned to look up at Steve, seeing the near desperation in his eyes. "Was chasing Wo Fat the only reason you left?"

Steve stared down at him, not breathing, not blinking. He took a step back, still staring at Danny.

"It's not, is it," Danny said. It wasn't so much a question as a statement. "You used your vendetta as an excuse."

"I thought I'd found him," Steve said softly.

"I don't doubt that. But I do doubt that was the main reason you left. You may have told yourself it was. But I don't believe it."

"Why do you think I left?" Steve asked, wondering if he really wanted the answer. Maybe the truth was too much to bear.

"Why do you think you left?" Danny asked in a coaxing tone, remaining by the door. He figured that room service would arrive about the time Steve was ready to confess. Be just their luck.

"To find Wo Fat," Steve said.

Danny shook his head. "Try again."

"I don't know what you mean," Steve said.

Danny turned the door handle, looking at Steve over his shoulder. "When you figure it out, call me. If I'm not busy, we can discuss it."

"No," Steve said, pushing the door closed and holding it. "Please."

"Tell me the truth," Danny said to the door, refusing to turn to look up at Steve. He was all too aware of Steve's arm pressing up against his shoulder, the tattoo shining like a beacon to Danny. His brain nearly exploded with his need to lick that inked skin.

"You. You are the reason I left," Steve whispered, dropping his arm.

With those words, Danny turned and leaned heavily against the door. Steve's expression was open, pleading, honest. "What do you want?"

"Whatever you do," Steve said.

"Don't lie to me. Or yourself. Tell me what you want."

"I can't have what I want. I never could."

"Maybe this time you can," Danny suggested. "You want me."

"Yes but I know I can't have you," Steve said, turning to move deeper into the room.

"What makes you think that?"

"You aren't gay. You've never shown any interest in men. In me," Steve said.

"No I'm not. No I haven't. Yes I have," Danny said.

"What?" Steve said, his adorably confused face in full force.

"I'm not gay, not in the traditional sense. I've decided I'm Steve-sexual. I don't want anything from any man that's not you. Or _anybody_that's not you for that matter. I have flirted with you almost from the first day. You refused to realize it."

"No you haven't," Steve said, shaking his head.

"You're a smart boy, babe. Figure it out," Danny said. "And get in bed," he added when the knock sounded on the door.

"You aren't leaving?" Steve had to ask, getting under the covers. Certainly the room service guy would have seen it all before but he didn't need to see it all this time.

"No, I'm not leaving, you goof. I'm getting your food," Danny said, opening the door so the server could push the trolley in.

"I apologize for the delay," the young man said breathlessly. "We got a huge rush. If you need anything else, I'll make sure it comes up right away."

"It's fine," Danny assured him, signing the bill and showing him out. "You want to eat there or sit here?"

"If you'll give me a tee shirt, I'll eat at the table."

"Bed then," Danny said, picking up the tray and taking it to Steve.

"I can arrest you for false imprisonment," Steve tried, taking the tray and sniffing the delicious food.

"You are free to leave any time. You'll have to put on your filthy clothes but I'm not holding you here against your will," Danny pointed out, fishing a cold beer out of the small tub of ice. "Here. You want some ibuprofen?"

"I took some after my shower," Steve told him, cutting up the steak that was done exactly the way he liked them. Along with the huge mound of mashed potatoes was steamed broccoli, butter on the side. "Where's yours?" Steve asked around a mouthful of steak and potatoes.

"You really are an animal, aren't you?" Danny said, laying a napkin across Steve's lap over the comforter.

"Where's your food?"

"I ate at mom's before I came," Danny said.

"How are your mom and dad?"

"Good. If you can stand the noise, she wants to stuff you full of ravioli."

"I'd like that," Steve said, eating more of his lunch. "Are you staying after I eat?"

"Will you sleep if I leave?"

Steve studied his food rather than looking up at Danny.

"All right. I'll stay. That's why there are two beds," Danny told him.

"You could sleep with me," Steve suggested quietly.

Danny sighed, carefully climbing onto Steve's bed and pressing up against his side. "If that's what you want."

"It is. I do," Steve said. Danny being next to him brought a warm, solid presence, grounding Steve like he hadn't been in for a very long time. He was accustom to the casual touching they shared without even realizing it. But this was different. This was intentional, a sharing of space that was very nearly intimate. "Are you sleeping in your jeans?"

"Why?" Danny asked, watching Steve as he consumed the food.

"It won't be very comfortable," Steve said as casually as he could.

"Uh huh. That the only reason?"

"You said you are Steve-sexual. Maybe I want proof," Steve suggested, turning to smile at Danny.

That smile. Damn him and his smiling smile. "I'll take them off," Danny said, staring at Steve's damn smiling face.

"Good. What does it mean?"

"That I won't sleep with my jeans on," Danny said slowly to make sure he could understand.

"No you ass. Steve-sexual."

"You know what it means. You are Danno-sexual," Danny told him.

"Am not," Steve said, returning his attention to the food. But Danny wasn't fooled.

"Then why I am sitting in the same bed as you? Why do you want me to take off my jeans? Why do you want me to sleep with you? Why are you…."

"Okay. I get it," Steve laughed, smiling that damn smile again.

"You are such a goof. I have no idea how I can think this is a good idea."

"You can't help it. Any more than I can."

"There is that," Danny was forced to agreed, reaching over for a stalk of broccoli. He popped it into his mouth, watching Steve finish his steak. "You want anything else?"

Steve shook his head, yawning before he could stop himself. "No. I'll burst if I eat anything else."

"Doubt it," Danny said, getting off the bed to take the tray. Once it was safely outside the door, Danny hung the 'Do Not Disturb' sign and locked the door. That done, he peeled off his jeans, conscious of Steve's eyes on him the entire time. When he made eye contact as he advanced to the bed, he could see Steve's emotions closer to the surface than he'd ever seen before.

"Take off your shirt," Steve requested quietly.

Rather than argue, Danny pulled his shirt up over his head, watching Steve watch him. Steve's eyes had widened, his breathing picking up speed.

"Ohhh…" Steve whispered.

"You've seen me in my board shorts," Danny said, standing just next to the bed. He remained still as Steve reached out to touch the expanse of warm skin covered with golden curls. His palm skimmed over his stomach, tickling him and delighting his skin.

"This is different," Steve said quietly.

"All right," Danny said. "Move over."

Steve moved to make more room for Danny to climb in.

"Just because I'm staying doesn't mean we are done with the fighting," Danny warned.

"I know," Steve said, scooting down in the bed to lay next to Danny. "Are you sleeping?"

"I'm going to watch TV. You'll just have to deal."

"I'm pretty sure you could land a plane in here and I won't wake up," Steve said, turning on his side to drape one arm across Danny's hips. Of course his arm rested right on Danny's groin, warming him in a way he thought he'd never have.

"I can't fly planes," Danny laughed, his hand buried in Steve's damp hair. "Go to sleep."

"Uhnn…" Steve grunted, asleep before Danny could get the TV turned on.


	4. Italian Heaven

Steve tried to figure out where he was and who it was in bed with him. Rather than danger, he felt…safe. The warm, solid body behind him was familiar, providing comfort and reassurance. Danny. That brought a tiny smile to Steve's face.

They were facing away from the windows with the light blocking drapes which provided no clue as to the time. Steve managed to free his left arm enough to squint at his watch. 3:30. Well, that was a start. But was it 3:30 in the morning? 3:30 in the afternoon? Had he remembered to reset his watch? If he had, did he set it to Hawaii time? Or New Jersey time? Even looking directly at his watch, he had absolutely no idea what time it was. He did know he needed to visit the bathroom. But Danny was sleeping so soundly behind him, he hated the idea of waking him up.

He tried to ease out from under Danny's arm, not really surprised when Danny rolled onto his back, his eyes squinting open.

"What time is it?" Danny asked, his voice sleep deepened and gravely.

"I don't know," Steve said.

"Where are you goin'?" Danny asked, hoisting himself up on one elbow.

"Bathroom. I'll be right back."

"Right. Take more Advil," Danny said, laying back down and flinging one arm over his eyes.

Steve had to smile at Danny's sleepy nagging before going into the bathroom to take care of business. After swallowing the Advil, he wandered out, going between the beds to look at the hotel provided clock. It said 9:30. That had to be 9:30 a.m. So his watch was in Hawaiian time. "It's 9:30."

"Not at home," Danny muttered, turning on his side and lifting the comforter. "Come back to bed for a little while."

"If you insist," Steve said, accepting the invitation and joining him. Danny practically sprawled on top of him, covering as much of Steve's body as he could. "Comfy?"

"Mmm…" Danny sighed, his hand skimming over the hard muscles of Steve's chest.

"Are we talking now?"

"Shhh…." Danny said, putting one finger over Steve's mouth. "Less talk. More sleep."

Steve laughed, the rumbling making Danny smile. Steve ruffled Danny's hair, smiling at the thoughts of what Danny would be saying if he were awake enough to complain. "You'll still love me after we fight, right?"

"What makes you think I love you? I really really hate you. A lot," Danny mumbled.

"Okay, Danno. Then I guess I don't have as much to lose when we fight."

"Yeah you do," Danny said, reaching up again for Steve's mouth. "Shhh…."

"All right," Steve agreed, closing his eyes and falling almost instantly asleep, Danny's weight keeping him anchored and safe.

~0~

The next time Steve woke, the room was flooded with light and Danny was talking. Not to Steve though. He was talking to Grace. Steve could hear the love in his Gracie-voice.

"Yes, we'll both be home on Saturday….yes, I promise…. I'm sorry, Monkey. He's asleep."

"No I'm not," Steve said, sitting up and reaching out toward Danny.

"Hold on, sweetie," Danny said, handing Steve the phone. Steve smiled up at him before turning his full attention to Grace.

"Hey, Grace-face. What are you up to?...oh yeah? A real horse?... Wow. That is cool….Well, if Danno said we'd be home Saturday, I guess we will…of course you can come swim at my house…all right, baby. I'll see you Saturday." Steve hung up, smiling at Danny.

"Stop with the smiling, you goof," Danny said, pouring Steve a cup of coffee and handing it to him.

"Why are you dressed?" Steve asked as he sipped the hot coffee.

"It's 11:30. I never went back to sleep."

"Yes you did."

"How would you know? You were sound asleep until 3 minutes ago," Danny pointed out.

"There is that," Steve agreed, placing the cup on the bedside table and going over to the bathroom. When he emerged, he stood in front of the chair where Danny was sitting, looking down at him. "Are we having sex? Or should I get dressed?"

"I can see why you were called Smooth Dog," Danny said, shaking his head. "Closet. Macy's bag. On the shelf."

"No sex?" Steve asked with a pout.

"After we fight. We'll have make-up sex if you promise to behave."

"Behave? Behave how? I don't even know what that means," Steve said as he went to the closet. He took down the Macy's bag as well as the bag from the drug store. He grinned when he peeked inside, looking over at Danny. "Supplies."

"One of us has to be responsible," Danny pointed out. "Get dressed, please."

Steve returned the bag of supplies to the closet and pulled on the jeans and tee shirt, both a perfect fit. Not that he doubted it.

"Are you hungry?"

"Yeah," Steve agreed.

"We'll go out for pizza. Real, honest to God New York pizza."

"We're in New Jersey," Steve said as he put on his shoes.

"Shut up," Danny said. "You ready?"

"I am," Steve agreed, making sure he had his phone. There was anything else he needed as long as he had Danny.

They left the hotel, Danny driving them to the restaurant not too far away. "I know it doesn't look like much," Danny said when they were parked by a row of storefronts. "But they make excellent pizza."

Steve went with him into the pizza parlor to be greeted by the smell of Italian heaven. He automatically followed Danny and the hostess between the tables, all of the customers watching them curiously. "Why is everyone staring?" Steve asked when they were seated in the booth near the back.

"Because I should have gotten your jeans a size bigger," Danny said, checking out the selection of beers available.

"These fit exactly right," Steve said, glancing down at them.

"That's the problem," Danny said. "I should have gotten you old lady jeans."

"I don't even know what that means."

"And a long sleeve shirt. Instead of that one," Danny said, nodding his head at the blue shirt Steve was wearing that showed off his biceps and parts of his tattoos and made his eyes luminously blue.

"They are just clothes," Steve said, glancing around at the others at the tables, all of whom were trying to subtly stare at him.

"Not on you, babe," Danny said, looking up at the waitress. "We'll have two beers and an extra large cheese pie."

"Right away," she agreed, lingering as long as she could before wandering away.

"Okay. Here's the thing," Danny said as soon as she had finally left.

"We're having the fight now?"

"Yes we are. Doing it in public will make it less messy. Less shouting."

"I don't shout," Steve said.

"I do. And I'm going to try very hard not to. You are going to try very hard to see my side of the equation."

"I do see it, Danno. I see you have a child. You cannot put yourself in danger intentionally," Steve insisted.

"You put me in danger every single day. But that's not even the point."

"Do you have a point? And more importantly, will you ever get to it?" Steve asked with a triumphant smile.

"You are not as cute as you want to believe," Danny warned. "If we do this, if we get involved, if we both commit to this, it's all in. You understand that right?"

"Of course I do. I'm not commitment phobic," Steve said.

"You take me, you take Grace too. You understand _that_?"

"I'm only interested in having Grace in my life. I'll take you because I have to," Steve said with a smile.

Danny shook his head, waiting as the waitress returned with their beer. When she had left again, he leaned over the table, speaking quietly. "I know you don't believe in caution. I understand you had no choice but to be stubborn and tough to survive in the SEALs. But you are about to be a part of a _relationship._It's not just you any longer. Do you understand that?"

"Yes," Steve said.

"You have to take care of yourself like you would me or Chin or Kono. Or Grace. You cannot go chasing off after Wo Fat or anyone else by yourself. Because you are no longer by yourself. Do you understand that?"

"Yes," Steve said, looking down at his beer. This 'yes' was not as firm as the previous ones. Danny heard the difference and waited. "It's who I am."

"Not if you want to be one half of this relationship," Danny said gently. "I'm not asking you to change who you are. I'm asking you to consider me and Grace before you act. If you are thinking about doing something you don't want to tell me or Grace, then chances are you shouldn't do it."

"Like the 'do you want your mom to know' test?" Steve asked.

"Exactly like that. Can you promise me that you will use the 'would I tell Grace this' test? Please?"

"Then I can't have sex with you," Steve said, grinning at Danny.

"I swear to God, Steven," Danny said, shaking his head. "You really are four."

"Maybe," Steve said. "I hear what you are saying. I can't promise I won't do it again. All I can do is promise to consult you first."

"What if you want to go chasing after Wo Fat and I ask you not to?" Danny asked, watching Steve.

"Would it be a deal-breaker if I went?" Steve asked. His finger was tracking the ring of condensation his glass had left on the red and white checked table cloth.

"Yes," Danny said without having to consider it. "Only because I would rather break up with you while you are still alive than do it because you died."

"I don't know what that means," Steve said.

"Your luck is going to run out eventually, babe. I don't think you are actively trying to get yourself killed any longer. But I still think…."

"Wait. What?" Steve asked. He was frowning at Danny, a mix of confusion and anger on his face. "You think I was trying to get myself killed."

"Yeah I do," Danny said. "You have a reckless disregard for your own mortality. That's what scares the ever-loving piss out of me."

"No I don't," Steve said. "I've survived this long. How is that a death wish?"

"You've _survived_, Steve. Do you even hear yourself? It's like you have survivor's guilt," Danny said, stopping and staring across the table at him. "Oh God. Is that it?"

"Of course not," Steve said. "Stop trying to psycho-analyze me. Some of the world's foremost professionals have tried. They didn't succeed."

"They don't want to have sex with you," Danny said. "Well. I'm sure most of them did. But they don't spend every waking hour with you. Maybe they didn't know you have a death wish but I do."

"For the love of God, stop saying that. I don't have a death wish."

"Then tell me you won't chase after Wo Fat alone. Tell me that," Danny said.

Steve took a deep breath before looking Danny in the eye. "Maybe I can't."

"Then our conversation is over. Our relationship is over. I'll call Stan and tell him I'll take his job."

"You can't blackmail me," Steve said, his voice rising with anger.

"Yeah, I can. Because I can't live with the idea of loving you then losing you. If I never have you, your death will be easier. Not easy but easier if I walk away now."

"Never took you for a quitter, Danno," Steve said. To his surprise, Danny laughed.

"Good one," Danny said. "You're suicidal and I'm a loser. Yay team."

"I'm not suicidal," Steve insisted through gritted teeth.

"But I'm a loser."

"No. Of course not. I can't be someone I'm not. Not for you. Not for anyone," Steve said.

"Okay. Let's put it this way," Danny said. "You are not the person I pulled my gun on in your garage, are you?"

"Yeah," Steve said, sounding a little confused by the question.

"No you aren't. Fact - you are much more likely to follow standard police procedure. Fact- you will ask questions first and then shoot. Fact- you have been known, from time to time, to fill out some of your own paperwork. All true?"

"All true," Steve agreed.

"All of this _change _in the two years we've been partners. You _can _change. You can evolve."

"You nearly had me until you used evolve," Steve said.

"You know what I mean," Danny huffed. "What, are you being _Sensitive_Steve now? Like you always accuse me?"

"Maybe a little," Steve agreed with a shrug. "I'm not the only one who has changed."

"I am very away of that," Danny assured him. "When was the last time I wore a tie to work?"

"Before I was arrested," Steve said.

"See. That is what I cannot stand the thoughts of you doing. I begged you not to go into the Governor's residence. And look how well it turned out when you ignored me," Danny said.

"You're right," Steve said. "I have changed. Just like you have."

"Exactly. All I'm asking, begging, is that you allow the changes to continue. Think before you leap. Look before you jump. Test the waters before you dive into them."

"Any more clichés you want to drag out there Danno?" Steve asked.

"Are you hearing me? Will you promise to consider me and Grace before you do anything stupid? Anything you wouldn't tell Grace?"

"I promise to try. If you promise to stop threatening me," Steve said.

"It's a deal. And if you do anything stupid, you'll have to explain to Grace why we've broken up. You understand?"

"There you go threatening me again," Steve said with a pout.

"Shut up," Danny said, looking up at the waitress as she delivered their pizza. "We need this to go, please."

"What? Now you've decided that?" she asked, popping her gum for emphasis.

"What does it matter? We're still leaving you a tip. Just box it up, huh?" Danny said, standing up and waiting as Steve did.

"We're leaving?" Steve asked, confused by the sudden change of plans.

"Yeah. I've decided I want dessert before lunch," Danny said, laying several dollars on the table before going to the cashier. Steve grinned as he trailed behind.


	5. Maybe It's That I Love You

_Maybe It's That I Love You_

It didn't take especially long for them to return to the hotel but to Steve it seemed like the ride was interminable. He was about to have what he'd wanted but had denied he craved. Why couldn't Danny drive just a little faster? Or he could have let Steve drive. They'd be upstairs and naked by now if Steve were behind the wheel.

Steve really had considered everything Danny had said. There was a balance that every relationship had to find, what each party was willing to surrender and to endure. Maybe he had expected Danny to endure more than his fair share of the burden. Steve was self-aware enough to know that he wasn't the easiest person to be around. Not that Danny complained all that much when Steve _was_around. It was mostly when he wasn't that Steve got into the worst trouble.

"I'm not suicidal," Steve said when Danny stopped at a red light. Danny glanced over at him with a look of amused tolerance.

"That's kind of out of the blue, isn't it?" Danny asked.

"You think I am."

"And you deny that you've never shown evidence of suicidal tendencies?"

Steve decided that was enough of that topic. Maybe he had taken some calculated risks but he was cognizant of all potential outcomes and had never lost yet. Yet. Was that what Danny was talking about? "Maybe I'm not always as cautious as I should be?"

"Ding ding ding…we have a winner!" Danny exclaimed in clear mockery. Mockery Steve did not especially appreciate.

"No need to gloat," Steve said, looking out his window. "This really is an ugly city."

"Only the parts around the airport. There are some nice areas that most people never see."

"I'll take your word for it. I don't want to be here long enough to discover those for myself."

"Okay," Danny said, finding a space in the hotel parking garage. He got the pizza box out of the backseat before they went into the hotel. "We have to stop by the front desk to extend your stay. You want to keep the room until Saturday?"

"That makes sense," Steve agreed. "Are you staying with me?" He thought he didn't sound too hopeful but he couldn't be sure. Since all he really wanted was for Danny to stay. Not just in the hotel but with him for as long as he could realistically expect. Like forever.

"Part of the time," Danny said. "I did fly here to see my family."

"I'm family," Steve said before he could stop himself. He smiled in response to Danny's laugh.

"God help me," Danny said, leading Steve over to the front desk. The clerk smiled at Danny, a gleam of more than professional interest in her eyes which Steve did not appreciate. No one was allowed to look at him like that from now on. "We need to extend our stay."

"Certainly sir," she responded cheerfully. "What name is the room under?"

"Danny Williams," Danny said as she checked the registry.

"Do you have an active military discount?" Steve asked. She looked up at them at the question, eyeing Danny then Steve before returning to study Danny.

"Yes?" she said hesitantly.

"I'm not in the military," Danny confirmed. No point in letting her wonder. "But he is."

"Are you Danny Williams?" she asked Steve.

"No. I'm Lt. Commander Steve McGarrett," Steve told her.

"I see. Do you have your military credentials?" she asked him.

"Not with me," he said. Why would he lie about being in the service? And frankly the discount wasn't as important as getting Danny upstairs and naked. "Never mind."

"If you can produce your military ID, I can provide the discount," she told him, studying him like she expected him to produce an ID that said he was KGB. Like she was one second away from calling the police on them both.

"It's fine," Danny said, feeling Steve's stiffen next to him. "We don't need the discount. If you'll just extend the room until Saturday."

"Of course," she said, more comfortable talking to Danny. Which Steve thought was fairly ridiculous but whatever. Time was ticking, time they could be engaged in more interesting activities. "I need you to sign right here, Mr. Williams."

Danny handed the pizza to Steve before signing where indicated. Good thing he'd used his 5-0 credit card to pay for the room. Otherwise they'd both be out on the street.

"You used your 5-0 credit card?" Steve asked as they rode up in the elevator.

"Yep," Danny agreed. Steve stared down at him, disbelief on his face.

"We aren't here on official business," Steve told him unnecessarily.

"True. But you're the one that has to explain to the Governor why the charges are on the 5-0 account," Danny informed him with far too much delight.

"You'll have to explain it," Steve said, following Danny into the room when he had the door open. "It's under your name."

"You're in charge, babe. Explanation's all yours," Danny told him, taking the pizza from Steve's unresisting hands and putting it on the desk. "Now."

"Finally," Steve said, going to the closet for the drugstore bag.

"Have you ever been with another man?" Danny asked. Steve could hear the hesitancy in Danny's voice. Not fear precisely but uncertainty.

"No. But we're pretty smart. We'll figure it out," Steve assured him. He threw the bag on the bed they had been using before approaching Danny, reaching for the edge of his tee shirt. "Why are you so nervous?"

Danny shrugged, raising his arms so Steve could get his shirt off. That done, Steve bent down enough to press his lips to Danny's, feeling Danny's smile underneath his mouth. "Good?"

"Good," Danny whispered, his tongue peeking out to trace Steve's lips. Steve liked the sensation even better than he had expected and wanted more. He guided Danny until the back of Danny's knees collided with the bed. Before he could sit, Steve reached for the button of his jeans, undoing it and unzipping Danny's fly, all the while still kissing him, his tongue seeking entry. Danny opened his mouth to allow Steve inside, flooding Steve with the taste of Danny. It was way more intoxicating than Steve had expected. Danny tasted like home, like where Steve belonged.

"Oh God," Steve whispered, kissing Danny again, consuming Danny's mouth and lips and tongue. "So good, so good." Steve straightened enough to gently lower Danny until he was sitting on the bed, kneeling in front on him to remove his sneakers and his jeans. "This okay?"

"Okay but too slow," Danny informed him, leaning forward to kiss Steve. Steve opened his mouth to accept Danny's tongue, making him want Danny even more. But he hadn't thought it was possible. "Undress," Danny said, pulling at the hem of Steve's shirt.

Steve backed away and pulled his shirt up and off. Staring at Danny and his beautiful blue eyes, Steve kicked off his shoes and quickly shed his jeans. When they were both down to their briefs, Steve returned to kissing Danny, pushing him backward until Danny was laying down on top of the comforter.

"I knew it. A topper," Danny said when he had enough breath to speak. Danny's arms were wrapped around Steve's body holding him in place, caressing his back with strong hands and exploring fingers.

"If you want," Steve teased, shifting his hips so that their erections ground together, the friction almost more than Steve could stand. "Oh God. How do you want to do this?"

"I don't know," Danny confessed. "But I don't think I'm ready to go all the way yet."

Steve understood that. He wasn't sure he was ready either. As much as he wanted to know everything about Danny, how he reacted, what it felt like to be inside Danny, to have Danny inside of him, they had the rest of their lives to try it all out. Providing Steve didn't screw this up. Which he had no intentions of doing. He had heard Danny and understood the concerns he had laid out to him. Steve could be less selfish if it meant Danny remained with him.

"Hey, Super SEAL. Where'd you go?" Danny asked, his palm resting on Steve's cheek, his eyes worried.

"I'm here. I don't want to mess this up," Steve said, leaning down to kiss Danny's mouth in promise.

"I know, babe. I'm not saying it will be easy. I'm only saying we'll work on making it work."

"We will?" Steve asked. He didn't like the doubts he couldn't put aside but Danny was too important to not worry that he'd lose him.

"Of course we will. Because it's worth the effort."

"Wouldn't it be nice to know we had the 'happily ever after' guaranteed like one of Gracie's movies?" Steve said.

"We aren't Disney princesses," Danny laughed. "In fact, we're no kind of princesses. And I'd like to remove our briefs to prove that."

Steve thought that was a really good idea and raised his hips enough to let Danny push his briefs down. It was awkward getting them off from around his knees but the alternative was to leave Danny's hot, wriggling body and that was not something Steve was ready to do just yet.

"If you move, I can get naked too," Danny said, pushing on his chest. Steve shook his head, kissing Danny breathless. "No? You don't want me naked?"

"I just want you," Steve said, hoping it made some sense. He couldn't bring himself to allow any distance between them as though if he lost his grip of Danny now, he'd never get it back.

"Listen to me," Danny was saying, his palms cupping Steve's jaws. "Are you listening?"

Steve nodded and tried to kiss him but Danny held firm. "I'm listening."

"You have me. I'm not going anywhere. Unless you do something incredibly stupid, you have me. If you'll move to the side, you'll have me naked."

"I do have you, right?" Steve asked. God when had he become so needy? Was that what being in love did? Oh. In love. Is that what he and Danny were declaring?

"Yes, you goof. I wouldn't be here otherwise. Why are you perseverating so?"

"I…" Steve didn't know what he was going to say and decided it didn't matter after all. He kissed Danny in hopes that he'd understand that too. He slid off Danny, yanking his briefs down until Danny could kick them off. Steve felt Danny's erection spring free, and he needed to see and touch. The sight of Danny's erection was beautiful, a work of art made flesh. "Oh."

"Smooth," Danny laughed, shoving Steve's hand down. "Don't just look. Touch."

Steve nodded, taking a gentle hold of Danny's cock, enjoying the privilege of actually touching it. "I'm the first man to do this?"

"Except for me, yeah," Danny said. Steve rolled more onto his side when Danny shoved at his shoulder, gasping when Danny took a hold of Steve's erection.

"Oh God," Steve said, looking down between their bodies. "Oh dear God."

"Lube," Danny said, gesturing behind Steve who reached for the bag with his free hand. "Not that tube, babe. The other one."

Steve focused on the yellow and blue tube he had grabbed, fighting a blush at the identity of it.

"The pharmacist recommended I buy it," Danny said as Steve tried again.

"The pharmacist?" Steve asked. What was Danny talking about? What pharmacist?

"I had to ask the pharmacist which condoms and lube to buy," Danny said, breathless from Steve's careful strokes. "He told me we'd need Preparation H too."

"Was he embarrassed when you asked?" Steve asked as he finally got the lube open. He poured some on Danny's palm immediately appreciating the difference when Danny touched him again.

"No. I was. But he said he deals in embarrassing every day. He was very helpful and said it was good that we were practicing safe sex."

"We'll get tested, right?" Steve said, pouring lube into his own palm and spreading it on Danny. "So we won't have to use condoms?"

"Yeah. I'm pretty sure I'm clean. But until we know for sure, it's rubbers for us," Danny said.

"I'm clean too," Steve assured him. He debated about telling Danny that he had been recently tested at Catherine's insistence but didn't think their first sexual encounter was an appropriate time to discuss his history with Catherine.

"Did you break it off with Catherine?" Danny asked, reading his mind in that scary way of his.

"Yeah. The last time she was in town. When I realized I wanted her out of my bed so you could be in it," Steve admitted, kissing Danny before he could reply.

"Oh. Bet that wasn't too awkward."

"No more than talking about her to you right now," Steve said, reaching down for Danny's plump balls to roll them and make him forget his own name. When Danny's eyes practically rolled into the back of his head, Steve knew he'd succeeded in distracting him. "Don't you ever touch them?"

Danny shook his head, panting, his fists full of the comforter.

"Oh," Steve said. "Good to know they are this sensitive."

"I had no idea," Danny panted, his head thrashing as Steve continued to stroke his cock while rolling his balls. He spread his legs further apart allowing Steve even great access. "Oh God. I'm sorry."

"What?" Steve asked as he kissed Danny's stomach and licked in the creases of his hips. He couldn't imagine what Danny was apologizing for. Enjoying himself?

"You," Danny gasped, waving a weak hand in Steve's general direction. "Neglect."

"No problem, babe. You'll deal when you're ready," Steve said, kissing him again. He moved up Danny's body with his mouth, grazing his nipples with his teeth.

"Ow," Danny said, frowning.

"You don't like it?" Steve asked, licking the red nubs.

"Your tongue. Not your teeth."

"Okay," Steve said, cataloging that information. It was going to be great fun to discover what Danny did and did not like. Steve could only use himself as a guide and he'd enjoyed it when women had occasionally bitten his nipples. "How many women have you slept with?"

"Uhmm…" Danny said, trying to focus on Steve. But he failed. "Uhmm…"

"Never mind," Steve said, kissing him again. Steve smiled at Danny's incoherence, pleased beyond measure that he was the one doing this to Danny – making him unable to talk was a triumph of major proportions. Steve was determined to find more ways to render him speechless. Oh the fun to be had for them both.

"Stop thinking," Danny requested, his unfocused eyes searching Steve's face. Steve smiled at the words, leaning down to kiss them out of his mouth.

"You are bossy," Steve said, sucking Danny's lower lip into his mouth before releasing it with a wet, sloppy noise. Danny was nearly gone from the sensations Steve was creating for him and decided to put them both out of their misery. He increased the speed and tightness of the strokes on Danny's cock, Danny wiggling at the motions.

"Too fast," Danny panted. Steve slowed down, filing away that piece of intel as well. Steve liked it when women pumped him with fast, long strokes but Danny didn't. Steve found the rhythm and speed that made Danny gasp, his mouth open to try and get enough air. It wasn't long before Danny was coming all over Steve's hand, Steve leaning down to kiss him as he recovered. "Oh my…." Danny hummed.

"Uh huh," Steve agreed, kissing Danny's red face, waiting for his breathing to even out.

"Eleven," Danny said, his eyes still closed, his right hand sneaking up Steve's thigh to encircle his erection.

"What?" Steve asked. The feel of Danny's hand back on his cock was causing mental overload. Not that he minded. At all. But what was Danny talking about?

"Lay down," Danny said, guiding Steve onto his back and sitting up next to him. It was Danny's turn to lean over Steve and kiss him breathless. Steve liked it. More than liked it really. "I've had sex with 11 women."

"Oh," Steve said, considering that information. "I'd have guessed more."

"I lived at home through college. I married Rachel just after I graduated. There wasn't a lot of time," Danny said. "How many have you slept with?"

"I don't think I should tell you," Steve decided, wondering what Danny would think if he knew the truth.

"You're a sailor, Sailor. Of course you've slept with way more women than I have. You put on your Navy Dress Blues and they fling themselves at you."

"Fling themselves?" Steve huffed. "Like Mardi Gras beads?"

"Yeah. Women probably fall from the heavens for a chance to be with you."

Steve knew the color was rising on his face and it wasn't because of what Danny's hands were doing. It was because of what Danny was saying. "It's never rained women," Steve finally said, lifting his head to watch the tip of his erection appear and disappear in Danny's fist. For someone with limited experience, he sure had a lot of talent.

"I'm sure if it had, you'd tell me it was classified," Danny said, gently grasping Steve's balls and rolling them in his fingers the way Steve had done for him.

"Sure," Steve said with a gasp. God that felt good. "When are we going all the way?"

"No idea. Do you want a taste of it now?" Danny asked. He released Steve's testicles to rub over his opening, Steve lifting his hips without realizing it. "You like it?"

"Oh yeah," Steve said, spreading his legs wider. "Do it."

"You want me to go in?" Danny asked, still teasing at the crinkled opening.

"You'll need more lube," Steve decided, reaching over for it and handing it down to Danny.

"All right," Danny agreed, pouring it on Steve's hard stomach and coating his fingers. "Tell me to stop if it gets to be too much."

Steve nodded, raising his head to watch. Not that he could see what Danny's hand below him was doing. "Oh," he gasped as Danny breeched his body.

"_Oh_ bad or _oh _good?" Danny asked, the tip of his finger holding still inside Steve.

"I don't know," Steve admitted. "It's…weird."

"More?" Danny asked, wiggling his finger just a little.

"More," Steve agreed, laying flat to stare up at the ceiling. He concentrated on breathing and relaxing, the first more successful than the second. "Hold on."

Danny stopped with his index finger inside up to his second knuckle. He watched Steve who was breathing deeply.

"Maybe this is a mistake," Steve suggested. How did any man enjoy this? It felt wrong, more like a violation than a stimulus.

"I haven't gotten to the good part yet," Danny told him, continuing to stroke Steve's erection that was trying to wilt. "Let me try a little more."

Steve nodded, not sure that's what he wanted. But he trusted Danny implicitly and knew he would never do anything to hurt him – physically or emotionally. Not intentionally at any rate. Steve nearly jolted off the bed when Danny inserted his finger all the way, bumping into Steve's prostate.

"Oh. Oh my God," Steve panted, jerking with pleasure each time Danny rubbed over his gland. "Oh God."

"Good, huh?" Danny teased, leaning down to kiss Steve's stomach. He would have liked to kiss Steve's mouth but wasn't sure the logistics would work in either of their favors. Damn Steve for being so tall.

"It's… yeah. Oh yeah. Faster," Steve panted, his hips lifting to follow Danny's hand when it surged up his cock. "Oh yeah. Just like that." Steve felt like there were fireworks about to go off low in his stomach and spine and wondered if they would be fatal. If so, he couldn't regret it because what a way to go. "Oh God," he gasped before he tipped over the edge, everything blurring out except Danny's hand around his erection. That was the only thing he knew until he started to come back to himself.

"Well," Danny was saying as Steve began to surface. "I guess that's a yes then."

"Shut up," Steve said, not meaning it. He reached up for Danny, bringing him closer to kiss the smirk off his face. "Holy mother of God."

Danny laughed, kissing Steve again. "Okay."

"I have a religious experience and your reaction is 'okay'?" Steve asked, smiling at Danny.

"Yep. And that we'll do it again. Soon," Danny said, laying down mostly on top of Steve, working the comforter out from under them so he could pull it over their relaxed, sated bodies. "We have to be at Mom's at 5:30."

"We do?" Steve asked in a sleepy voice.

"She made lasagna. We're going to eat it."

"Okay," Steve said, his eyes drifting closed, his body drifting. He was almost asleep when he felt Danny talking against the skin of his collarbone. "What?"

"What?" Danny said, lifting up to look at Steve.

"What did you say?"

"Maybe I said I love you. But not if you don't want me to," Danny said softly.

Steve laughed, pulling Danny up to kiss him soundly. "I know you love me, Danno."

"You are so arrogant."

"No. I know you love me because I love you," Steve said, kissing him again. Danny was smiling when he lay back down and thought he'd never stop. He was just fine with that. Because Steve had come home safe and Danny would make sure he stayed that way.


End file.
